This is just me rambling to get some content on my blog to show that I haven't given it up, but I sometimes wish being a pantser writer was more predictable.

When I wrote Fated Maids and the Royal Slug, my characters sprung from my mind onto the page almost completely fully formed. There was no period where I decided which traits to give who, there was very little in tweaking their physical designs, and all in all coming up with situations to put my beloved Milky-Maids in was smooth sailing, once I convinced myself to sit down and write the chapters.

My next project, a novella, is technically my "previous" project -- I've written the entire thing and edited it many times, it just needs to see a professional editor at this point. But when I started writing it during the tail end of 2020 (yowza, has it been that long!?) I had a very hard time characterizing one of the lead supporting characters. I had no trouble coming up with the physical design; much like my maids he'd just sort of tumbled out of my pen and onto the tablet touchscreen. But personalitywise I drew a blank. I tried writing test dialogue with him but he turned out too childlike for a character who was supposed to be in his early 30s, and even if I "aged up" that kind of personality, it didn't mesh -- or harmoniously contrast -- the loud and outgoing personality of his best friend. 

Then one day, while I was browsing stock music for video projects, I found a niche psychedelic comedy track that was unlike any song I'd heard before. I thought to myself, "This is the kind of thing you'd hear off of a weird vinyl you took a chance on at the thrift shop."

And that did it. Suddenly in my mind was the image of my normally laid-back character jabbering away with his best friend about possible interpretations of the lyrics to a song nobody but them knew, like a grown-up geek version of a secret club code.

The rest of the character flowed easily from there. He became an artist, a toker, a kind soul but a bitter critic at the same time. And it all fits together naturally, I think.

I'm sure at this point some of you are thinking this is a brag about how easily I can come up with ideas, but it's really me expressing complete confusion. I honestly don't know what causes some characters to just appear all at once after months of puzzling over traits that just don't feel right.

There's this gag in Arthur where the titular character lies to his best friend Buster about coming up with a song really quickly (in actuality he copied it off of something his sister DW made up). Buster says something along the lines of, "That must be how all great art is made! Nothing, nothing, then, out of nowhere... something beautiful." I figure it's supposed to be a joke, but with certain characters -- sometimes entire short stories! -- it really does all just appear at once. That includes music, too -- Drink Me In! (the theme song for Fated Maids) appeared vividly in my head when I was nowhere near a computer and I had to loop it over two dozen times in my head so that I wouldn't forget it before I had a chance to write it down.

Which brings me back to the first point in this post... yes, sometimes I get these whirlwind inspirations where the creative process is smooth sailing. And then the rest of the time... nothing. Zilch. Nada. I stare at blank screens and everything I write turns out wrong, or it'll be decently written but the characters feel "off," or the story derails and goes somewhere it doesn't need to (infodump ahoy!). 

Then, after months, I'll find that "one thing..." and be off to the races again... 

...which is very bad when you're supposed to be pumping out steady content! The world is not fond of "one big burst every six months," I suppose.

I highly suspect this is an ADHD focus thing but can't be sure. If it is, I guess it can only be controlled by more coffee.

(Did you know caffeine is in the same drug class as Ritalin? But much tastier and safer to mix with other meds.)